If I tell you I can give you a simple technique to reduce the number of your bad-mood days, will you believe me? If you look deeper many heartaches, worries, and depression are linked mainly to a single factor. That is nothing other than your memories! In other words, what you remember and what you forget from your past play a vital role in deciding your present mood! That is the power of memories! So if we can train our minds to do some tweaks here and there, we can make remarkable changes in our life.
Little confused? Okay!
Power of memories!
Imagine you are having a fun time with your friends at a get-together. You are in a super good mood and so excited. Suddenly one of your old friends with whom you had a not-so-good experience entered the room. Tell me, will you be in that same happy mood after seeing that person? Some changes will happen in your brain, and you will get upset or angry within a few seconds. How does that happen?
Or
You are in a sad mood because of some incident that happened. Not in a good mood to do anything. So simply sitting on your couch and digging into your phone. Suddenly a photo from a family trip or a friend’s trip caught your eye. It was of a moment you all did something crazy and laughed your lungs out. Without you even knowing, a smile will come to your face. How does that happen?
THAT IS THE POWER OF MEMORIES!!!
They can either make you or break you. So wisely choosing which memories to hold on to is very important.
I know when I am telling this, it is not an easy task! The reason is that negative memories tend to create a more lasting impression in our minds than those positive ones! You also might have already realised this, I am sure! There is a scientific reason behind that.
The scientific explanation for why negative memories rule!
Based on many studies done around memories, they proved that we tend to remember memories with strong emotions attached to them more clearly than neutral ones. That is because incidents with deep emotional feelings release certain stress hormones. These hormones trigger a part of the brain linked to memory more deeply than neutral incidents.
Even though positive emotions have a similar impact on the brain, in the long run, negative ones remain clearer and tend to get recollected more. Scientists explain this as an evolutionary survival tactic designed to protect us from harmful or dangerous situations when we meet them again in life!
But the tactic turned out to be a huge mistake now! Yes, the evolutionary path has gone wrong there!
What suppose to be a survival tactic is now the major blocker in our happy survival!
Many people find it extremely difficult to come out of these bad or negative memories of the incidents which turned their life upside down and continue to live in depression and worry. In the long run, even if they could come out of the dark pit, the slightest mention of anything related to that incident takes them back to those old days! It is the same for you and me, isn’t so?
Now, this is where we have to act. We are called the most intelligent of all creations for a reason. We can’t just let some evolutionary tactic take all our peace of mind just like that, Am I right?
Manual driving or autopilot??
So if we have to make the best use of this feature of our brain, we need to do some tweaks here and there, as I mentioned above.
The change we have to make is to learn the lesson from the incident and leave the emotion behind!
Imagine that you have touched an object without knowing it will be hot. When seeing that same object again after one year, what will you do to avoid the old mistake? Of course, you won’t touch it again! That’s what I am talking about here! You learned not to touch the hot surface again. You never worry or get depressed about how you burnt your hand in the first instance over and over again. That is the logic we have to follow.
I agree all incidents in life won’t be simple, like touching a hot surface. But you are strong and more capable than you think! Most of the time, all we ever need is clarity on what we need to achieve. And as I mentioned in my last post, the three qualities – Laser focus, consistency, and never back out!
How to divert your mind when negative power of memories strike?
Here in the case of taming your mind, you need to decide whether you are going to take the steering into your hands or are you going to let your mind in autopilot mode!!! You know this situation where you were all happy one moment, and suddenly a bad memory or thought came into your mind. That is it!! The happy mood has vanished into thin air. You started piling up your mind with a chain of negative thoughts and so much stress.
That is the autopilot mode I am talking about here. When you feel like slipping into that trap, you need to take over the steering of your mind and divert it intensionally into something else. It can be anything like trying to remember a good memory, listening to a song or phone a friend, or going out on a walk – anything that helps you divert your mind back to the present. But almost all the time, this decision we have to take intensionally. Stop the chain of thoughts within the first few minutes. Otherwise, you will fall into the trap.
Do you need a servant or a master??
This diversion is highly relevant in the current world because studies show excessive stress can reduce life span even up to 2.8 years! We already have a long list of diseases to cut short our life span!! And those diseases are not much under our control. But our mind is! It all depends on the decision we have to make. That is whether we need a beautiful servant or a dangerous master! When you are clear on that decision, all other pieces will fall into place.
When the servant helps to have a calm and focused life, the master can destroy your entire life by giving you depression.
Don’t ever think it is just one day of a bad mood. If you intensionally take note of how many hours or days you waste in a negative mindset and without doing anything meaningful, it can add up to even years from your whole life! The years where you could have smiled more, achieved that dream of yours, could have traveled more. Or bare minimum where you could have been a better version of yours physically and mentally!
So next time, when the enemy strikes, be aware of that and act wisely. It is our decision to use this special power of the brain in our favour or not. Let us use the power of memories to our benefit by remembering all the good ones and relishing them.
When the dangerous master tries you strike you down next time, change that to a beautiful servant and knock out the master!!
See you soon in my next post…until then, stay safe and happy.
