Which is your favourite love story? Romeo and Juliet? Laila and Majnu? As read in a quote, my favourite love story is that of grandpa and grandma, who grew old together. What is the secret they have to make their marriage life such a strong bond? How to have long a lasting relationship? I believe it is more than just love.
The Incident
A few months back, we were waiting in the hospital for a consultation. The clinic of the doctor was a small room. There was some rush since it was a weekend evening. Because of the limited number of chairs available most of us were standing. After some time, the door opened, and a couple entered.
The emotion which I felt the moment when I saw them was sympathy. Do you know why? The husband was in his mid-eighties the wife was in her mid-seventies. There was no one with them to help them around the hospital. One of her legs had a bandage. Hence she needed his support to walk. He had to use a stick for support. It was heartbreaking to see them struggling to manage the situation alone.
Understanding their situation, a gentleman got up and offered his seat to the old lady. The husband helped her to sit comfortably and stood a few feet away from her. I could see that he was relieved knowing she sat comfortably. But the wife was still very upset or uncomfortable. I could understand from the way she was looking at her husband that the reason was he was still standing with her handbag and files.
After a few minutes she called him, please note she just called him. He suddenly took a water bottle from the bag, opened it, and gave it to her. She drank from that and smiled at him. A few minutes passed, and he also got a seat to sit. Again that same smile on her face. Later they finished the consultation, got medicines, and left. Honestly, I watched only both of them the whole time. If they had noticed that, it would have been quite embarrassing for me.
The strong bond of love and understanding
You know, from the moment they entered till they left, how both of them cared for each other, understood each other, supported each other – Oh God, it was such a pleasant experience for my eyes and mind. The sympathy I felt when they entered had turned into a kind of jealousy by the time they left 😊. The thought of why there was no one to help them changed to why they needed anyone when they got each other. At that moment, I learned from them that one of the happiest and most beautiful of all love is getting older happily with your spouse.
How to have a long lasting relationship?
Even after coming home, I was thinking about the bond they both shared. Then a story I read about an old couple came to my mind. Many of you might have heard or read this somewhere. When asked about the secret of their happy long married life, they replied it seems they were born in a time when things got damaged that were repaired and not replaced. Such a powerful thought, right?
As they mentioned, it is not about having fights and disappointments but about solving that with one heart. Is this not many young couples are missing nowadays?? When I hear about the rising number of divorces and the silliest reasons for the same, I feel so. I accept a few of these are for genuine reasons and respect that. But in most cases, more understanding and adjustments can solve the issues for a happy life. Do you agree?
Repair or replace for a long lasting relationship?
The main reason for all this is, now our attitude has changed from repairing to replacing. This attitude is not only for objects but for relationships as well. We are more interested in fairytale marriages by spending lacs of rupees but not bothered about having a happy married life. What do you think is the reason behind such superficial marriage lives? I believe it is the lack of love, understanding, and trust. Those are the pillars of any relationship, for that matter.
Nothing can be more beautiful than your partner changes for you, not because you forced them to change. But because they have to for the way you treat them. This change makes marriage a beautiful experience like the old couple I mentioned, where he understood her to need for water without a word from her. Even big fights will not be able to make a small crack in their married life, I know for sure.
How much change is required for marriages to work?
Even though I told you about love, adjustments, and changing yourself for your partner, I would like to remind you about the importance of a little personal space for each of you. Entering into married life is not the end of individuality and personal preferences. But something that helps each of you to develop individually also. Confused now ??
To be clear, you should not be like the two faces of the same coin. But as Khalil Gibran told you should be like the pillars of the temple that have space in between where the wind can move while holding the same temple. It is about finding the right balance between changing and being yourself. Trust you got that correct now. 😊
This post is a dedication to all those awesome couples who inspires me to be the best wife I can be and inspires both of us to grow old happily. Your life teach us how to have a long lasting relationship. I wish to let all of you celebrate many more years of happy togetherness 😊
See you all soon with another post. Until then, stay happy and stay positive.
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