Postpartum Depression – The Silent Killer

Today’s post is on a topic that at least a few of you may be unable to relate to today. But I am convinced you will hear about or face this one day in your life. As the title says, today’s post is about Postpartum Depression.

It has been told for ages that becoming a mother is the most beautiful part of a woman’s life. As we have seen in movies or advertisements for baby products, the relationship between a mom and her baby is supposed to start from the moment she holds her cutie pie in her hands. The bonding, feeding, happy baby, happy mother. All happy moments!!

But the reality is something very opposite to this happy image. Most mothers take time to create that bond with their babies because of the many new changes they meet, their bodies going through so much pain if it is a c-section, etc.

What is Postpartum Depression?

When speaking about this bonding period, there is a word that has been disturbing me for some time now. Reading about frequent incidents of new mothers trying to kill their babies has been shocking. These incidents had created pain or made me so upset. So decided to do something that I could to create awareness about a psychological condition associated with it. Along with these incidents, a term has equally become well known – Postpartum Depression.

Postpartum Depression is a psychological condition that many new mothers go through. The severity of this will vary for each woman. At its peak level, this disorder can create many issues for the mother as depressed mood, frequent anger outbreaks, trouble bonding with the baby, no interest in feeding, etc. More symptoms like suicidal thoughts and trying to hurt the baby are also common in extreme levels of this condition.

Today, I am not going into the medical details of this psychological disease. But like to point out a few thoughts which help us as a society to fight this dangerous condition.

Dear New Mothers and Ladies who will soon embrace motherhood!

Giving birth by itself is a life-changing event, whether natural birth or a cesarian. Many young ladies enter motherhood without knowing much about what to expect when their little one arrives. How much your monthly doctor visits and all scanning are vital, it is of equal or more importance to attend proper counseling and read more about the changes which you will go through. 

We all read a lot about how to look after our babies, what to feed them, should be breastfed or not, etc. But we hardly read anything to understand how our body changes, how hormones will turn upside down, what changes all those sleepless nights can bring etc. So be prepared mentally to face the changes by reading and getting advice from experienced people.

Ask for help when you feel like you have to. Taking care of a newborn is not an easy task when done alone. That is why our grandmothers had experienced people around them taking care of the baby and them. The mother was given special care, just like the young one. Now things have changed. Still, we can get help in new ways in the form of nannies/caretakers if you do not have elders in your family. Ask for help from your husband. He may not know how to do many things, but surely he can learn, just like you did.

PLEASE ACCEPT THE FACT YOU ALSO NEED TO HEAL. AND YOU CAN NOT DO IT WITHOUT HELP. SO SHOUT FOR THAT WHEN NEEDED.

Never forget that taking care of yourself is the best way to take care of your baby.

Dear Husbands!

Having a baby is a life-changing event for your wife (yes, for you too). So hold her tight till she settles down. You may be the best person to cure her of all her worries, tensions, fear, etc. The bond you two share is close to her heart than even she has with her parents after marriage. So be there for her. When she has mood swings and is irritated, know that it is part of the process. She needs time to settle down. Her body needs time to heal.

Share the sleepless nights with her. Help her during diaper-changing times or fix a bottle of milk. Please don’t make fun of or criticise her for not looking attractive like earlier. Or for not shedding that extra weight immediately. More than anything, tell her she is doing a great job taking care of the baby. Protect her from the blames people around her have to throw at her. Help her to sail through this phase.

If you can do all of these, I am very sure that she will sail through any depression she has and will come back not only as your lovely wife but also as a great mom.

Dear relatives/neighbours!

I want to be honest here. With or without intention, the worst enemies of the new mother are the people around her. Most of the time, this is the hard truth. Give her N number of advice and suggestions, blaming her for even small things but hardly lending a helping hand. Let us be more considerate towards the young mother and helps her overcome this situation. Be there for her in whatever way it is possible.

Let us not be judgemental about the mother. Each baby is unique. You cannot compare how your baby was years ago to the newborn in hand now. The stress each new mother goes through during pregnancy and delivery is two times more than what mothers went through 10 or 20 years ago. Their lifestyles are different. The food they eat now is different from what you had. The difficulties they face throughout pregnancy are different. So comparisons do not work. What works better is, understanding their situation and thinking about what help we can offer. Else it is better not to add more oil to the burning fire. Let the family be around there for a good reason!

Let us tackle the silent killer – Postpartum Depression!

Since I have not gone much into the medical complications of this condition, please do not think we have an easy task to handle. At its extreme levels, this psychological condition can trigger the mom to hurt/kill the baby or commit suicide. I hope this will help you to understand the seriousness. The mother herself is helpless in overcoming this condition.

The first thing we need to tackle this problem is awareness and accept the existence of the same. Because even well-educated youngsters have no idea that Postpartum Depression exists!! Beware of the symptoms and provide the young mother with all the support. Let us join our hands to make a protective fence around our mothers and babies and pledge that we will not lose one more baby or mother to this silent killer.

Unlike my other posts, I request all of you to share this message with someone who you think may need this right now. Or, if you happen to listen to someone talking about these symptoms in the future, help them by guiding them in the right direction.

Talk to you soon with my next post, until then stay safe, stay happy!